Working Towards Wellness

Mood Disorders Association of British Columbia

Working Towards Wellness

I am a full time Administrative Coordinator in the Mental Health and Addictions field. I have lived in Victoria BC all my life and have a diagnosis of schizophrenia.

Working toward wellness has been my goal over the past fourteen years. I was diagnosed when I was 19 years old because I had been hearing voices and hallucinating. I had an idea that this was not the way things were supposed to be and I went to my mother to let her know. She had been asking me to go out and get a job and I was having a terribly hard time because of the hallucinations. I could not concentrate enough to put together a decent resume let alone talk to a potential employer worried that their face would change into that of a monster or an unrecognizable entity during the interview! My mother helped me to get to a psychiatrist who interviewed me about my symptoms and put me on a medication right away; my diagnosis was schizophrenia. The meds took away the symptoms but I ended up with bad side effects and it took a while to fix the problem with the right meds. I also found that I needed to find acceptance for my illness and that once I did, my life changed for the better and the side effects went away.

After I was given a diagnosis I began my recovery journey. It was not easy to gain insight and grow as a person with a disability. For years I wrote poetry and hung out with friends while hearing voices and seeing things that weren’t there. I had a lot of work to do to deal with the stress in my life. The medication changed my life for the better as it took away the symptoms and gave me the ability to move forward with my recovery. Without the debilitating symptoms I could regain my sense of self and become motivated to make my life one of successes.

Five years ago I started doing programs in my community that gave me new skills and confidence and helped me get ready to go back to school. These programs were psycho-educational and about personal development. They were very intensive and taught me the skills I needed to become independent and move forward with my life. I took an advanced business course and got 95% honors; I was finally getting my life back on track. I had learned so many new coping skills and was on the right meds so I could manage doing more and taking on a challenge or two.

Getting an education has been very important to me in order to deal with my illness. I found that the more information I had the better I would do. I learned how to listen and be present with others and to communicate effectively which helped me be more grounded and less stuck in my mind. I gained skills in advocating for myself and my confidence increased so much. Stigma had caused me to hide away from the world. It disabled me from asking for help when I needed it. Stigma was the reason I stayed sick and did not get into recovery until recently. It’s unfair to stereotype a person with mental illness and to see them through a lens of illusion. Mental illness is treatable and people can recover, it’s not fair to hold people back because of a label. Eventually I conquered my sense of insecurity and the stigma did not bother me anymore. My focus increased and I was more able to accomplish my goals. I can now see purpose and meaning in contributing to the greater good.

Overall my understanding of how society works has given me empowerment and the ability to help others. In terms of gaining knowledge, once I started learning I kept going and took more courses at the local college. I found out about some local programs in Victoria that, in my early days of illness, I never would have tried to take. With my new strength I applied to these programs… and got in to them!

Up until 2 months ago I had been receiving PWD income, a disability pension that the provincial government gives people with severe mental illness. I had been earning an extra $500 a month in a part time job. I followed all the government rules about being on assistance; I made sure to claim everything I earned. It was a scary step to take to come off of disability but I had done it slowly and with care, making sure I stayed well along the way. I am now in the same job as a full time Administrative Coordinator.

I found that it can be difficult to make transitions and I was lucky to have a great boss who cared about my well-being. I was honest about my situation and showed that I was eager to face my fears and move forward with my life. It has taken a lot of goal setting in small steps and getting as much support from doctors and family as I could find. There have been many times that I was not certain about what to do and so I would ask a lot of questions and I keep learning. There are still times when I am not feeling well and I am tired; I make sure I am using self care tools and talking with my support people to work things out.

Now that I am working full time I feel happier and more at peace than I ever have. I have more independence and I get to help others in need; my life has more purpose. The future does not look so scary as I am building my dreams. If I were to let others know the benefits of working it would be freedom to make choices and live a better quality of life. If I were to give support to someone who is thinking of working it would be to let them know to take their time to move along in their recovery. Asking for help along the way can make all the difference and there are so many people who are willing to help.

I am so grateful for where I am in my recovery and the hope that was given to me by others. It was not all easy but it was so worth the effort. Just because you have a disability does not mean you must stop living, in fact it means just the opposite. You now have something to work with and you are so valuable to those coming up behind you.

There is no failure in recovery only a chance to better oneself. Working toward wellness can be anything you want it to be and you are the one who is in charge of your dreams. I wish you all luck and hope you can do whatever you want in life including finding work that really gives your life meaning.

Tara Timmers

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